Magical Thinking Great for Kids, Not so Great for Adults

Welcome to my new blog series called, A Pondering Thing. This is also supported by a weekly podcast. Click here https://player.whooshkaa.com/episode?id=422157to become part of my podcast community.

A Pondering Thing, has in fact been an idea I have wanted to bring to life for some time now. Like all big ideas we have, sometimes they get shelved and never to be seen again. I’m pretty stoked I have finally taken the action to make this happen.

Because to be honest, I have a big goal to get my messages out as far as I can to support like-minded people who truly want success in their business and make their dreams become a reality. And what I love most about having this opportunity is deploy these messages through stories, because who doesn’t love a good story right!

In fact, when I ponder how much I love a good story, I always think about my childhood because story telling and reading books was a big part of it. Growing up television wasn’t a big deal in my house, but reading comics and books were. I have really fond memories hanging out with my brothers and cousins reading comics like The Phantom, Archie, Mad and any other Marvel comics like Spider Man and Super Man. As you can guess I am a big fan of Marvel movies now and did enjoy the Netflix series Riverwood which was based on the Archie comics (watched with my teenage daughter of course ;). I also loved to read adventure books. My favourite books were Trixie Beldon, Choose Your Own Adventure and anything by Enid Blyton, especially the Magic Faraway Tree.

And when I think about what I loved about those books and the reason even today at the age of 47 I still have memories about them, is because of the adventure, the intrigueness, the dark moments contrasted by happy moments. So much of my imagination and creativity came from all this wonderful magical thinking.

I remember as a kid, I think I was about nine, it was a night before Christmas and as I fell asleep I recall hearing quite loudly the sounds of bells going over our house, and what I believed to be Santa and the reindeers flying over. I even remember even sweating and not wanting to open my eyes encase I scared them away. You can imagine how excited I was to wake to see a Christmas tree full of presents – my thoughts were real!

Even though I know now that Santa was just make believe, that memory today is still so real for me.

And the thing is, my parents allowed me to have magical thoughts, encouraged my brother’s and I to play, to be creative and explore. We were not denied this in our childhood.

I don’t believe I have taken magical thinking into my adulthood. I don’t wish and hope the fairies will bring me success nor do I wait for things or experiences to come to me. The last couple of years I started to manifest positive thoughts through meditating, I have empowering beliefs so I can experience what I want in life and I do work at behaving congruently to my values. I don’t wait for clients to fall from the sky or money to come flying at me from a poker machine.

In fact, I’ve never bought a lotto ticket. I have gambled twice at a casino, but it was really just for fun on holidays and well I must admit when my $20 turned into $200 it was pretty exciting. It was just for fun and well the win was a nice bonus.

When I think about my friends, family and clients that gamble or have other addictions, or the “gunna” person,  I do ponder what magical thinking they may have been denied as kids. Were they brought up in rigid homes with a lot of rules and not enough opportunity to play and imagine? Were they not allowed to take risks or be spontaneous? Do they seek justification now? What are they waiting for?

I must admit, I did justify a lot before I made a decision. I sought facts, evidence and examples and reasons to agree or act. I ponder now that perhaps I needed this certainty for fear of failing as my old role, the mask I wore as a good girl, was scared to fail.

The common thread with my clients who have expressed magical thinking as an adult, is that they somehow or somewhere wait for something to happen. They look for signs, the “right” time, a message from the universe or god. The wait for something to happen to justify why they won’t do something, and they seek validation that it’s the right decision. This thinking prevents them from progress and distracts them from the truth and deepens them into layers of shame and blame.

Sadly, magical thinking is how we justify addictions, procrastination, avoidance, self- sabotage, not taking responsibility. It stops us from experiencing a full life.

Drop your magical thinking

In the book, Ultimate You, author Sharon Pearson describes comments like, “it’s a sign, one day my ship will come in, my addictions help me cope, I have to figure out what’s wrong with me before I can have a great life, I’m waiting for them to change and I’ll do it later…as examples of magical thinking. In a nutshell her response to all of these is that you are not the exception. Everything has meaning until the meaning you give it, so take action, don’t wait, get on with it and be your own example of the person you want to be.

“Courage only turns up when we do the thing that makes us nervous. Confidence is earned through action”, Sharon said.

As an adult today I enjoy expressing myself through creativity and mainly through writing and visual ideas. I mean I can’t draw, but when I have an idea, I like to put pencil to paper and draw it out so I can visualize it better. I’m really inspired by creative thinking to help me think harder and draw out the possibilities. I also love learning and in business I believe this has been and continues to be my silver bullet towards success. The more I learn the more I love to coach as I can see the impact this has on my clients.

Take action

In my ponder about magical thinking I want to ask you what are you waiting for? What is holding you back? Do you have beliefs that don’t enable you to moving forward?

There is no magic pill, there is no sign and there is no wishing or hoping.

The time is now for you to take action. Do it now, not tomorrow.

Remember if you love a good podcast then subscribe here https://player.whooshkaa.com/episode?id=422157.

Bye for now,

Paulina